An Unbearable Lightness of Being
by Stained Glass Rose
Summary: Given a choice between his lover and his legacy, Draco Malfoy makes the only choice he can, though Ginny may never forgive him for it. Draco/Ginny. AU: Gossip Girl fusionfic. One-shot.


**An Unbearable Lightness of Being**

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**Spoilers for Gossip Girl S3.E17** ("Inglorious Bassterds") and** S3.E18** ("An Unblairable Lightness of Being").  
**Content Notes**: Reference to non-con, dub-con, substance abuse, drunken, non-graphic sex, and a more ruthless Draco than I usually write.  
**Disclaimer:** The _Harry Potter_ universe and its characters belong to J.K. Rowling, et al. and the _Gossip Girl_ storyline belongs to Josh Schwartz, Stephanie Savage, Cecily von Ziegesar, et al., but the words are mine.

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"You can have the business or you can have the bloodtraitor. Not both." His father's eyes are sunken, but the cold, steel-grey still reflects his own and the cracked lips hold a sneer as ugly as the one Draco wears. He leans back in the chair, arms folded across his chest, and legs spread slightly apart—openly defensive in a way Lucius Malfoy cannot be, with the shackles on his wrists and on his ankles, but if his son mentioned it now, he'd probably say he is strong enough for anything that may come. Strong enough for death, even, though the long scars on his arms tell a different story and his tongue is dark as blood—dark as the doxy eggs he's so clearly been eating. Draco can hardly judge the man across from him; he is, after all, the coward who put his father behind bars in the first place and now, he'll pay for it.

"What are your plans for her?" he asks, gaze sliding down the emaciated figure. "You're in no shape to do anything with or to her."

"Nor would I ever sully myself with a whore like that." Draco's mouth twitches, and he moulds the movement into a smile like melted plastic. Lucius smiles back. "I know men less selective than myself. Men like you, Draco. Men desperate to be ruthless."

Draco shrugs. "I'm not desperate for anything," he assures his father. "You seem to be. You look like you could use another fix." He watches narrow fingers jerk inwards and his smile feels a little more genuine, though his stomach is still sick. "You look like you could use a taste of freedom because obviously, you can't play at power quite as well from prison as you did from public office, though popular opinion has it that you weren't particularly good at that, either.

"I choose business, Father. Nothing in the world could induce me to choose pleasure, least of all a Weasley."

"So you'll hand her to Nott, no questions asked?"

"Teddy?" The word is tight with disgust and his chest is tight, too.

"He's my godson, Draco, and I'll name him my heir if you disappoint me."

"Have I ever done so before?"

Lucius laughs and the sound haunts Draco as he walks outside into the cold, bright day. Unbearably bright, after the darkness of Azkaban, and hours later, Draco still seeks out the dark at the bottom of a whiskey bottle. Then he seeks out Pansy and sinks inside her. Even with no light in the room, he can't imagine it's Ginny. He supposes he can't afford to now.

When his girlfriend firecalls the next day, he is barely dressed and drunk besides. She tries for awhile to tell him about Teddy: she stops and starts ("something strange—are you all right?" and after he assures her that he's fine, she says, "I ran into Nott" until she thinks better of it). Instead, she asks him a hypothetical that isn't and he tells her that lovers ought do _anything_ for one another. He tells her that he would do anything for her and he knows when she leaves that she'll go through with this if he doesn't stop her. He goes back to bed, back to Pansy, and this time, he thinks of his mother.

Narcissa Malfoy would be proud. She'll be safe, but she doesn't deserve it.

The next time he leaves his room, there's a knock at the door. Ginny is there, mascara dripping down her cheeks and lipstick smeared, and it hurts more than he ever thought it would when she slaps his face. "I did what I had to," he tells her quietly. "You did as you wanted. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a date with Pansy."

"Son of a bitch," she hisses and Draco thinks for a moment that things might be different if she knew how much he agrees. "I only came to—to-" To get answers, obviously and now that she has them, to get hers, but she's clearly too angry to be eloquent.

"Did Teddy fuck you?" he can't help but ask.

"You thought he would," Ginny says dully.

"I expected the worst, and hoped for the best—_better_."

This time, she goes for her wand and by the time Draco's recovered from the hex, she's gone. He is drunk within an hour; his liquor cabinet has more glass in it than spirits now. Drunk, he can admire how the light pierces the bottles and shines in his eyes; he wishes the light could pierce him, too, but it remains trapped inside his skin like blood and breath; he remains opaque and only when he sobers up at last is he glad of it. When he's sober, he knows better than to want the sun in his flat or the empty bottles or emotions clear enough for her to see. He doesn't know how he'll survive the coming weeks without alcohol and without her. He wonders how he'll survive if she never comes back. He's afraid she may have strength enough not to, but her ignorance is his consolation for all the years until she proves him wrong.

Never is a long time and a couple years of heartache feels like it will never end, so he's not surprised (_says_ he's not surprised, begins to believe he isn't) when she falls into his arms, into his bed. She has as little choice as he did when he traded her body for the business. She's shed so much blood and sweat and so many tears for him that she can't bear to lose him now, though she knows as well as he does that he'd do it again if he had to; she knows he's just not capable of love, but she'll take what she can get for as long as he's willing to give it to her. Draco is careful not to say forever, but with his legacy secure, he means it every time he takes her in his arms; he is glad she doesn't know, he is glad she'll never guess.

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**Author's Note**: Thanks for reading. This isn't my usual fare, but my friend Becca likes Chuck/Blair from _Gossip Girl_. I find the little I know of their relationship at once unsettling and intriguing, so I decided to incorporate a seminal event in their love story into Draco and Ginny's. The storyline required a more ruthless Draco and a more forgiving Ginny than I usually write and a darker version of their relationship, too, so I'd appreciate any feedback.


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